Gary walked about the apartment restlessly. Three hours… that’s how long he had waited… three measly fucking hours- and Ash had just decided to leave without even properly explaining to him. All he left was a fucking note. He moved away from the bedroom, memories tempting him to remember those hot nights of shared ecstasy.

Why did you do it Ash? Why?

He wouldn’t cry. Guys didn’t cry, but God how he wanted to. Instead he reread the note over again for what seemed to be the millionth time in the past hour

Dear Gary,
    I’m sorry. I really am. But I can’t do this anymore. I hope you can understand me. Please don’t look for me.

Ash

He resisted the urge to throw the picture of the two of them beside the table- they had been so young, so innocent… And now- well things had certainly changed. That little-… He couldn’t even think of a way to insult him without feeling guilty.

Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know it’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care...
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Instead he flipped on the TV, regardless of the channel and flopped down on the floor- he couldn’t go near the couch. No, not when…

“Gary… Gary… Nungh… ah….” Ash whispered, trailing his hands up to his face. “Gar…y…”

“Ash…” Gary murmured. “I… love you…”

He looked away, trying to block the thoughts- he wasn’t here anymore… He stared blankly at the floor until the voice of the reporter caught his attention-

“And now, get this folks! The couple of the century has finally gotten back together! Misty, the famous Water Pokemon Master and….”

Oh God no… Gary looked up at the screen, frozen with shock. Please Ash… Don’t tell me you did this…

“Ash Ketchum! Challenger to be the next Pokemon Master and a favorite among the ladies!”

No… no… Ash… Gary stared at the screen at a loss for words as he watched the red head appear standing right next to- he’s mine bitch- the thought escaped him before he had time to stop it. They were holding hands… and they were… kissing- did you tell her I held those hands? Did you tell her those hands touched my cock? Did you tell her I’ve kissed those lips and have had them far longer than she has? Did you Ash?

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now,
Ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face
Or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

He couldn’t help but feel his hands curl into fists. So… this is what he wanted. He wanted a safe life, stable- but unhappy. Ash was leaving him just for his image- not because he wanted to. He could tell from the way Ash had looked at him when they had made love- it hadn’t been just sex anymore. It had never been “just sex” for him from the beginning. Touching Ash, learning his body, it had been a ceremony for him he had gladly endured- how could he not see it?

How could he give it all away for the simplest idiocy of an image? He looked away in disgust- how Ash? How could someone give love up for that? It didn’t make any sense. Where had that heart of gold he met all those years ago gone off to? Had he left it behind somewhere?

“Ash…”

He wasn’t sure when he started to cry- one moment he was shaking with fury then his body was shaking with grief. So much suppressed grief- Ash… had left him. For Misty… For an image… Forever…?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care,
Yeah, yeah yeah,

“You bastard.” Gary sobbed. “I gave you everything. And what did you fucking do?” He looked back up at the television screen with his ex-boyfriend’s face on it. “You threw it all away, you fuck!”

He got up, storming in the bedroom, looking out the window- it was raining again; even harder than before. He punched the window restlessly- what had he done wrong? What? What did he do to deserve this?

He had given Ash the best sex of his life last night, he had confessed his love, he had done everything to make him happy- and that bastard went and did this to him. He had left him, thinking it would be safer with Misty- with her of all people…

Okay fine, they were best of friends, they understood each other, they were comfortable in each other’s presence- yeah all that crap but the fact remained- Ash didn’t love her. No, he didn’t love her at all. The way he kissed her, the way he touched her- he’d seen it. Seen it way before either had noticed it- they couldn’t be together. Not like they had. They just couldn’t.

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now,
Oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face
Or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ash was making the biggest mistake of his life. And there was nothing Gary could do to stop it except watch as Ash’s love life crumbled in front of the public. He gripped his head in his hands, pulling at his hair- Ash had always been so frustrating but not like this. He thought that idiot knew by now. Misty could love him all she wanted and he could force himself to be with her but he didn’t love her. He just didn’t.

Gary looked out the window, lost in his self-misery and hatred- I must have done something wrong… But no, he hadn’t- he’d done everything right. He forced a deep breath down into his lungs- no more crying Gary…

He had done everything right. He had waited long enough for Ash to accept him. The first time they had done it- they had both been drunk. Gary had been so angry at himself for letting it happen- but then later on Ash had asked for it. He had claimed “it helped him forget.” So they had continued to do it, with time they gained more experience and more comfort- it was a learning experience…

One that had both claimed to enjoy.

Do you really have everything you want?
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself

He sighed, rubbing his temples. Ash… What did you do? He looked back down at the letter still in his hands: I can’t do this anymore… Was he guilty? Did Ash feel it was his fault for letting it get this far? Or maybe… Gary looked over at the picture. Maybe he hasn’t realized it yet… Maybe Ash… thinks he still loves Misty.

He narrowed his eyes angrily. They had talked over this plenty of times- Ash had always said he couldn’t take being with Misty anymore- it was too much for him to live even so much as a month with her, how could he expect to live a whole lifetime?

No… This wasn’t his fault. He growled low under his breath- this… this was all his stupidity’s doing. Not his. He had done everything right, he hadn’t forced Ash to love him, and he hadn’t forced him to sleep with him- Ash had learned to like it of his own accord. So how could Ash claim to not like it anymore? How?

Ash… Gary gripped the note tightly in his hand- if this is what you want, I’m not going to stop you. He looked down at the picture of the two of them- that face, that smile, those eyes- this… is for you to figure out not me. I already know what I want.

The researcher walked over to the phone and dialed the number quickly- before he lost his nerve- he wouldn’t let his life go to waste just because of Ash…

“Hello Professor Ivy? Yes I’d like to change my mind about that job offer of yours.” He looked down at the note quietly then shaking his head he threw it in the garbage bin, turning his back to it. “When can I start?” he looked out the window- he could see a streak of sunlight begin to peak out from the clouds. “Next week? Great, I’ll book a flight.”

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now,
Yeah, yeah
Come on, tell it to my face
Or have I been replaced,
Are you happy now?
Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I've had all that I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I'm happy now,
Ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?


Note: Not much to enjoy ne? ^-^’’Oh wells~